The following is a reader-submitted note, or, perhaps, a complicated thought-experiment / hoax conducted by the author, meant to allow him to be his own devil's advocate! How about that? (Editor's note: Actually, it's just a note that's being posted unattributed. We're about to get into some pretty explicit stuff, and not everyone will want google associating their name with it.)
I've been following (and sharing) your 50 Shades series with great amusement up until now. Unfortunately, your rundown on ch 7 was really disappointing. Partly this is because the book itself is so depressing, but mostly it had to do with your evident ignorance of, and distaste for the BDSM community. I can not say that I speak for this community as I picked up most of my knowledge from conversations in and around college gender studies classes. Yet it seems to me that you kept going for the cheap joke by shaming those who enjoy this particular kink instead of focusing on how ham-handed EL's portrayals are.
I mean, you're right that a second date is a ridiculous time to be bringing up contracts, hard limits or giving out tours of ones dungeon, but there really are written contracts in this community, and they exist for very important reasons. And yes, it seems peculiar to mention hard limits that would sound obvious to those outside the community, but by in large this is a subculture which gets it's kicks from transgressing social norms, so the ones CG listed really aren't that extraordinary.
Moreover, "Nice" sex is not everyone's introduction to adulthood. In fact I'd say it is shockingly rare (probably something to do with abstinence only sex ed programs or something). And of course the implication is that atypical sexuality is not "nice", which really puts my teeth on edge.
So here is what I ask. If you are not interested or willing to do the research in order to discuss different sexualities/preferences in an informed way, could you stick closer to your most excelent observations about the craft of writing instead?
Sincerely,
Redacted
Our commenter has correctly identified the fact that I don't know anything about anything. I know so little, in fact, that it was only the other day that wikipedia informed me that I was wrong about what BDSM even stood for. I've also never proclaimed myself an expert, but that's not a particularly good excuse. In American political life, "I'm no expert but" is usually the thing that somebody says right before saying something hilariously dumb. I recognize a lack of expertise as a fault rather than a convenient excuse for failing to address one's own ignorance.
I'll also acknowledge that there can be something uncomfortable about mockery of a subculture coming from someone unfamiliar with said subculture. It's like how it's okay for you to make a joke about someone in your family, because you love your family, but the same joke coming from the mouth of an outsider would seem cruel. 50 Shades does not belong to a subculture, though. This is not a bit of fringe literature that I dug up for mockery, but the fastest-selling book of all time. EL has sold more than 35 million copies of these books in the US. Think about that for a minute! That's more than 1 copy per 10 Americans! So this is a mass-culture phenomenon, not something from the fringe. Which means that the vast majority of readers will be reading about sex contracts and dungeons and floggers for the first time. While I may be ignorant when it comes the sort of things that excite Christian Grey, I'm every bit as knowledgable as the book's average reader, which in turn disinclines me from worrying that my jokes ought to be better informed.
I don't wish to shame anyone, except for a couple of fictional people and also EL James. I am of the opinion that whatever other people consent to and find fulfilling is no concern of mine, so I do feel bad for coming across as distasteful.
It's probably CG's contract that I took the most "cheap" shots at, even though it does make quite logical sense to me that people engaging in kink naturally have to rigorously spell things out. In truth, it's not the contract or even the sex dungeon that make me feel uncomfortable. What I find distasteful, and will continue to find distasteful, is the way that Christian Grey's version of "kinky" lines up so nicely with "regular" misogyny. This book is, at its core, deeply conservative.
That's what drives my fascination with this book and its popularity--it's perceived as "edgy" but often just reads like the story of a man bullying a woman. And that's depressingly ordinary. 50 Shades feels like a book that's sort of slapped a coat of BDSM paint on top of a harrowing tale of emotional manipulation.
At least in the parts of this book I've managed to read, we don't see the "submission" part of dominance / submission. Yes, Ana Steele goes along with whatever CG wants, but though she (so far!) is having a pretty nice time, it never seems to me that she's deriving any particular pleasure either from the act of submission or from how her submission affects CG. Which is part of the point, right?
CG looks to me less like a dominant seeking a submissive, and more like an "active" seeking a "passive." My impression, from my limited reading, is that few people actually experienced with BDSM appreciate its portrayal in this novel, for reasons that will become more and more obvious if you continue reading along with me.
In the meantime, though, I'll try to take aim at this novel in particular and minimize collateral insults that might land on those who simply have interests that I don't share.
I'd also suggest that no one use this book as any kind of reference, because seriously.
Tomorrow morning! The sex chapter we've all been waiting for!
It's probably CG's contract that I took the most "cheap" shots at, even though it does make quite logical sense to me that people engaging in kink naturally have to rigorously spell things out. In truth, it's not the contract or even the sex dungeon that make me feel uncomfortable. What I find distasteful, and will continue to find distasteful, is the way that Christian Grey's version of "kinky" lines up so nicely with "regular" misogyny. This book is, at its core, deeply conservative.
That's what drives my fascination with this book and its popularity--it's perceived as "edgy" but often just reads like the story of a man bullying a woman. And that's depressingly ordinary. 50 Shades feels like a book that's sort of slapped a coat of BDSM paint on top of a harrowing tale of emotional manipulation.
At least in the parts of this book I've managed to read, we don't see the "submission" part of dominance / submission. Yes, Ana Steele goes along with whatever CG wants, but though she (so far!) is having a pretty nice time, it never seems to me that she's deriving any particular pleasure either from the act of submission or from how her submission affects CG. Which is part of the point, right?
CG looks to me less like a dominant seeking a submissive, and more like an "active" seeking a "passive." My impression, from my limited reading, is that few people actually experienced with BDSM appreciate its portrayal in this novel, for reasons that will become more and more obvious if you continue reading along with me.
In the meantime, though, I'll try to take aim at this novel in particular and minimize collateral insults that might land on those who simply have interests that I don't share.
I'd also suggest that no one use this book as any kind of reference, because seriously.
Tomorrow morning! The sex chapter we've all been waiting for!
1 comment:
What I find distasteful, and will continue to find distasteful, is the way that Christian Grey's version of "kinky" lines up so nicely with "regular" misogyny. This book is, at its core, deeply conservative.
That's what drives my fascination with this book and its popularity--it's perceived as "edgy" but often just reads like the story of a man bullying a woman. And that's depressingly ordinary.
YES. And I'll even go so far as to say that I believe this is actually a big problem in the BDSM subculture, which is why I have a big problem with that subculture.
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